Not Too Witty

Man, it has been a long time and so much has happened I barely know where to start:
It snowed here a little bit, but snowed more in Katy...that made my kids feel pretty cheated.
Christmas hit and we had parents and folks in and out of the house, spent Christmas itself without other family which was pretty cool.

Then off to Richmond for a few days of vacation and it was awesome. We hung out with the groove-o-rama Quinbys - Brennan and Krista. Man, so much fun. Chopping firewood, playing PS2 ESPN 2k5 basketball, eating lots of great food, sitting and talking. Man, so relaxing. Brennan was used by God to calm my heart and head down.

When we returned, Kool Kelly came to hang out and got my head even straighter with her great attitude and friendship.

So here is the story: We missed our old-time stuff and were so overwhelmed with the new stuff that our minds were spinning and totally confused. I didn't understand at all where to go and what to do. The church, culture, kids, leaders, intrests, motivations....the whole deal...was like landing on another planet. My reaction at the time: grit my teeth, get a little bitter, wonder what life would be like somewhere else. Ingredients that lead only to a deeper pit, not to the shade under the wing of Christ. And the Lord hit me in the face with the reality. He said to me: "Landman, you have got to relax and enjoy what's up. I brought you here, it is a great part of the country, a great church, you have a great family, a great history and a great future. So shut up and enjoy what's here and now. Stop whinning about the "nots" and bask in the "haves"." And you know what, I still miss all my folks and comforts, but life and ministry and all is awesome here. We are now in a new duplex that is smaller but nicer...and close to our new elementary school (where the kids have been going to two weeks now!!). And..........we have a contract on our Katy house!! They have a week or so to back out, but it looks pretty solid. We have several new leaders here, a new potential college ministry starting, revived student leadership team, new students who are stepping up....man God is working in incredibly visible, obvious, miraculous ways.

I don't have a lot of great, dynamic spiritual insights or stories to tell. Only that the Lord is so faithful and I have spent so much of my life not enjoying life but worried about the past and the future. What a waste. I'm sure I'll fall into that again and again, but there is that reminder to Glorify God and Enjoy Him Forever....and that includes now.

Passive "ings"

It has been a while and here is the deal with the Land Fam.

Church is awesome. It is cold. The tops of the mountains got snow-dusted this weekend. Most of us played with getting sick last week but only Amy and Emily actually did. They are fine now. We really really want to sell our house in Katy. Please Lord. But we must remain patient (I hate that).

This holiday time has forced me to really be creative and patient with what to do with the Student Minstry here at Grace. People are around less, students and leaders. And here is the lesson the Lord is teaching...

But first, a story...I was 18 and on my way with a packed 1983 Chevy Blazer to Texas A&M to start my college life. I could not have been more excited. All of the possibilities, freedoms, experiences lay ahead of me, 120 miles down the road. I was flying up Highway 21 way too fast until I came upon two cars, side by side, doing the unthinkable: the speed limit. How dare they inflict their moral and legal consciousness upon my 18 year old, impatient, impetuous life! I tailgated, they did not move. I changed lanes. Nothing. I could not pass. Finally, in a burst of emotion and fuel, I swerved into the oncoming lane and attempted to pass both cars at the same time. Problem: we were entering a sharp left curve in the road so I could not see theoretical oncoming traffic. Problem: I'm in a blazer, not known for its burst of speed. Problem: I'm an idiot. After a few harrowing seconds that seemed much longer, I did end up passing those vehicular barriers and dead-man's curve. I was settled nicely into my lane with no cars ahead of me and it all became clear. That was so moronic. I literally risked my life (and my stuff) in an effort to get to college a few minutes faster. And for what? What was I going to do in those precious few seconds? Nothing. I had nothing planned. Nowhere to go. It was just impatience and pride. Those two culprits play the tandem to induce and inflict so much potential harm on me.

Which leads me to the right here and now. At home and at Grace those two culprits entice me to move, change, create and run in speeds and directions that are unhealthy. I want to have everything, my family, my house, this ministry, staff, students...everything.....I want it all settled and on cruise control right now. Right Now! But this is not reality. It isn't healthy. It isn't realistic. It is time to taste and see that the Lord is good. It is time to sit at the hearth of relationship building and breathe, talk, listen, pray, enjoy. To build the roots and trust that the fruits are the Lord's responsibility. To enjoy my wife, my kids, the staff and students. Yes, I really want to have my house sold and be solid here and now. But what I need is to be trained in the lost art of sitting, waiting, enjoying, listening, learning and a bunch of other passive "ings".

Brian

Prodigal Voyeur

Luke 15:25 "Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing."

A couple of weeks ago I picked up a book by Henri Nouwen called Return of the Prodigal Son.
It ought to be called "A Trip to the Optometrist" or "40 lashings minus one." The book is based upon Nouwen's encounter with Rembrandt's painting of the Prodigal Son (See the picture (here). Let me share just one thing that forced its way into my soul.

The center of the painting is the incredible, gracious, loving, repentent reunion of the wayward son and the Father. It touches the heart in astounding ways...in theory. You see, there are four onlookers, watching the outpouring of grace, humility, restoration and love. Four people who are not involved in the receipt or refreshment of grace. They are meer observers. Looking with disinterest or disapproval, watching maybe with a longing to be the one that is held or with arogance, thinking that he doesn't NEED to be held.

I was really convicted that I have so often been an onlooker of the Grace and Peace of Jesus. I speak it, teach it, read it, hear it...but my heart so often is disaffected or, even worse, disinterested. I get too busy to encounter him or too self righteous to even see the need. I have all too often been a waiter for God, carrying his compassion to hungry customers while I have gone hungry for the very thing I am serving, the very thing the Lord is offering...to me.

In other news...the Land fam is doing pretty stinkin well. Amy's parents are in town and we are having fun. We ate in downtown Asheville last night (really cool town) and are really getting our feel for this area. Church has been a huge encouragement and blessing. We are still praying about selling our house in Katy and really getting ideas and confirmations on what to do about a house up here. We are having really good family time with hanging out, hiking, playing and all that. Amy is doing GREAT and has met some local Mary Kay people who are really cool. Us city folks are learning to slow down a little and enjoy. The Lord keep plopping down potential people to help with the youth ministry. Pray that we gel as a team (like magellan) and really love each other, the Lord and the kids.

Thanks for all the prayers, love and support. You are a blessing to us!!

Prodigal Brian

Week 2

It has been a full week and I kinda know what is going on now. Kinda. It is quite the whirlwind on every front, with the ups and downs rivaling any rollercoaster. I am meeting people like mad and trying to listen, hopeing to catch glimpses of who people are, what this culture is like, where the Lord will have them go, what my role is in that. It is certainly going to take a while but the beginning has begun. Now to see if my brain can handle all of the information.

Last night I finally finished going through the scrapbook that Edgefolks gave me. It was pretty tough to read, with memories and relationships flooding into my heart with every page, every letter, every picture. I can't for the life of me figure out how you came up with some of those old pictures. It was so cool and encouraging. Thank you so much. I was telling Kelly last night that it inspired me in big ways. I somehow had a good impact on lots of you in Katy and now I will find my groove and dive into relationships here at Grace. Pray for that to progess.

HERE (Grace) - We had a good leaders intro meeting yesterday with a good chunk of people showing heart for ministry. There is great potential with tons of students in the church but not in the youth ministry. We need to find a way to draw them into relationship and ministry. Great possibilities and potentials.

THERE (Edge) - You people need to give Jon & Kelly a big fat hug for me. I miss them both so much I can't stand it and they need you students to really come alongside of them. I know you are, this is just a reminder. They, along with the other awesome student and adult leaders, are HUGE. I really love and miss you guys. We are excited about what the Lord will do up here and down there. Keep your eyes and hearts focued on HIM. Not on numbers or logisitics but upon him. He is your strength, encouragement, identity, purpose, passion and love.

Peace and Blessings to you all....Brian

THERE

I am sitting here in my new office wide-eyed and pretty confused by pretty much everything. I now know how to get to my house, the bathroom and Blockbuster. Maybe a few more things if I really think about it. I walk around church and hear over and over about how people have been anxiously and expectantly awaiting my arrival. It is pretty encouraging and pretty daunting at the same time. It is great to be anticipated and have people excited about the future. It is scary to think that there are some people out there who may have it in their minds that "all things youth" are going to be all fixed as of yesterday. I know this is not reality. The folks here at Grace have been extremely clear that I am not the superman, lone-ranger, fixit man. They absolutely don't expect solutions and directions to be in place and solidified anytime in the near future. But as I look around there is so much potential in so many ways (this is such a great church!!). I want to jump in and start to fly, but I can't. Reality is that they don't really know me and I don't know them. I have the wild luxery of actually getting to know the people of Grace and the people of western North Carolina before I "decide what is best for them." I have the opportunity to slowly build a leadership and vision team that can work together to pray for the future of this ministry. What a great and wild time we have ahead of us.

But there is also the here and now. Though we have been welcomed so boldly, we really miss our peoples. We miss Cornerstone, the youth, the leaders, neighbors, schools, quirks...pretty much everything except the traffic and the weather. We think of you so often you wouldn't believe it. You folks of Katy have made an enormous impact on our lives. We are certainly thrilled to be here and are loving these people and this church, but you are still in our hearts.

Pray for comfort, faith and unity in the Land family. Pray for me to minister slowly but powerfully in HIS directions...for leadership to be raised and equipped...for students and leaders to give me a chance...and for me to care and love on them like mad.

Grace and Blessings upon you all.....Brian

Almost There

Well. We are in Franklin, TN tonight at the Ketchum's house (some great folks we met at Sonship). It has been a good but very tiring trip. Especially getting lost in Memphis, doing circles around the road construction. Why does Interstate 40 stop, make a 90 degree turn, loop around Memphis and somehow start again? Either 1) somebody was on too much cold medicine when they created it, 2) some people laughed a big belly laugh when they created it, thinking about how frustrated people would get or 3) (and this is the most likely) I got lost and, being fully male, refused to ask anybody for directions. Yes. This is correct. My wise wife phoned me from the other van, telling me to ask. But I really felt, with every turn and new horizon, that our destination would be like an oasis right in front of us. It wasn't. Not for an hour with a bunch of U turns and blaming my frustrations not on myself, where they belonged, but on city planners, other drivers, my map and, perhaps, just a little bit, on God. This seems to be the general story of my life. There is a place I need to be, a place I am called, and I kinda meander my way generally in that direction. Sometimes making blazing speed, sometimes stopping and getting distracted by shiny little things. Then I miss a turn and find myself (like in Memphis) in a bad neighborhood putting myself, my family, my stuff and destination at risk. I could stop and u turn right away and get back on the right track...but I think..."No, this will get to where I want to go. It is just a different way to do it." Then I get lost. I don't seek help. I try to work things out myself. This whole move to Asheville is not altogether different. I sensed the Lord's leading and directing but couldn't quite make it out. I would kinda just sit on the prodding and not really do anything about it. I would make some wrong turns and get confused and even, don't tell anybody, get mad at God for me not knowing where I am going. But when the path was forked right in front of my face and I didn't know which direction to go, the Lord finally clicked my brain to really seek out some wisdom. To stop and ask for directions. So I did. I spent real quiet time with the Lord. Amy and I did so together as well. My kids then joined us. I drained the brains of the wisest people I know. And the Lord spoke. With clarity! Asheville in now just a few exits away and the confusions and u turns are over (for this particular journey). We are thrilled to be where we are and going where we are going. The move has been draining in every way possible. We loaded and packed all of our stuff and entrusted it to people I had never met before. We are moving 1000 miles away from our nearest relative. We have talked with but don't really KNOW anybody in Asheville. But the Lord is there and he has made a place for us. And in a few days that place will start to, more than ever, really take shape.

Blessing for putting up with these ramblings.
----Brian Land
(Did you vote today?)

Sonship finale

Well, Sonship is over. Amy and I are on the plane heading back to Katy where there is a moving truck sitting in front of our driveway, waiting to be packed with all of my worldly possessions, along with what I can steal from my neighbors. Our brains and hearts are pretty much totally filled up. You know the feeling. When you have to cram for 24 hours straight for a major test. It seems like there is literally nothing new than you can cram into the tiny crevices that remain in between your ears. We have heard such horrible and awesome teaching which has made us question our own historic view of faith and grace, made us question Sonships’ theology (and thanks to Josiah’s patience and wisdom we are assured of it’s faithfulness to Scripture) and made us, most importantly, look deep within our hearts, way past the visible actions of sin and/or apparent integrity, leaving us pleading with the Lord to have mercy on us. And he did not, nor does he ever, leave us in that pit. Sometimes it seems like it. When your own sinfulness becomes as clear and sharp as the wire cutters Nashville International Airport confiscated from me, you are left crumbled on the ground like the slow kid in dodgeball (ah, the horrid Junior High memories come flooding back). In our small groups, we spent hours in confession and repentance. But the Lord lifted us from that because the Gospel reveals the sin only as a stage in the process of basking in his Grace.

One of the coolest things that I learned this weekend (can I list just one?) was the incredible paradigm that our life is spent more fully comprehending 1) the glory and holiness of God and 2) the depth of our rebellion and sinfulness. And the more we realize both, the more we realize our need for Christ and the more we appreciate the fact that Jesus has fully bridged the gap between the two. In life, I realize more and more that the gap is broader than I had ever imagined. And therefore Christ is more incredible, loving, powerful, sacrificing and enduring than I realized earlier in life. And next year I’ll realize it even more.

The week was about so many things. One of the biggies that I take away really is a greater need that I have for Jesus. Everyday. Everyday. That he really is my daily bread. That he really is the breath I breathe in the morning. He really is my all in all. He is. I don’t act like it most of the time. But he is.

1 John 3:1 How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.

Brian Land